On Finding Your Own Way to Lead

Abby Golden is a driven and empathetic founder, nurse, and community leader, motivated by a fierce care for others. Labels and accomplishments are the least important parts of Abby’s leadership journey, her values and the lessons or people that shape them tell a far more compelling story of the ways that leadership can look, sound and feel different.

As Abby joins the Y25, she shares her insights on leadership, advocacy and finding your own way, in conversation with Y25 2024 alumna Zoe Dzapasi.

"You can't wait for someone else to do something about the issues you are passionate about."

If you were to meet Abby, you would notice her quiet confidence and an indisputable warmth. As well as being an award-winning changemaker, Abby is a 25 year old nurse, originally from central Otago in Alexandra and based in Dunedin who loves reading and time with friends. 

What media is motivating/ challenging/ inspiring you recently (books, podcasts, music, movies)?

I'm a huge fan of historical fiction, anything that kind of lets me learn about a different period in history or understand how people lived through other major events. I’m a big reader, I have not had a lot of time for that lately though. 

What has been the highlight of the year to date?

Thinking back to summer, I went on a couple of tramping trips with friends. I hadn't done much tramping for several years; I'd just kind of forgotten about it. Getting back into it was really fun, and I'm already planning the next ones for this coming season.

What is something you have done that you’re really proud of?

How I've navigated my life so far and the person I've become along the way. I have a career I love, my own home, good friends and colleagues. I'm proud of knowing I can figure things out when life doesn't go to plan, and I haven't done that alone. I've been lucky to have a strong village around me. But there's a difference between being independent and doing everything alone, and I'm proud of the resilience I've developed.

What would be your advice to a young person considering applying to the Y25?

Whether you've been nominated or you're putting your own hand up — just embrace it and back yourself. You don't have to feel like you've got everything figured out, or that you're the most qualified person in the room. If someone's seen something in you, or you see something in yourself, that's worth listening to. Make the most of the experience, meet people, be open to new things — and don't spend the whole time worrying about whether you belong. You do. You've been given that opportunity for a reason, so back yourself and see where it takes you.

Abby the rangatahi leader

Growing up Abby never saw herself as a conventional leader, she wasn’t as outgoing or confident as the leaders she saw around her. Nevertheless, she was passionate about making her voice, and the voices of young people around her, heard.

"I don't really see rangatahi as future leaders. They're already functioning members of our communities. I was a young person given an opportunity, and I saw what that did for me. I've spent the years since trying to create that same feeling for other young people."

What does youth voice mean to you?

Making sure young people aren't just being listened to, but that their ideas actually have the power to influence decisions and creating spaces where rangatahi feel safe and confident to speak up, and are then actually heard.

How do you feel your upbringing has shaped your advocacy?

My advocacy journey began when I was 14 or 15, when I got involved with Sticks and Stones, a locally founded bullying prevention organisation. I probably didn't think of myself as an advocate at the time — I was just a young person given an opportunity to get involved in something bigger than herself. I stayed involved right through high school and university, helping deliver social and emotional learning programmes and sharing research at conferences nationally and internationally. 

The heart of the kaupapa was: if it's about us, without us, it's not for us. That really stuck with me. I realised young people don't need someone to come along and fix things for them. Sometimes what we need is someone to open a door and say, we actually want to hear what you have to say. Once I'd experienced that, I became passionate about creating the same opportunity for other young people.

Reflecting on the kaupapa you have been a part of, what are the some important lessons you’ve learned through your advocacy journey?

If you want something to happen, sometimes you just have to get stuck in and make it happen yourself — though doing everything yourself isn't sustainable, and learning to trust people and share the load has been an important part of growing for me. I've also learned the importance of boundaries: when you care deeply about something, it's easy to keep saying yes, but you can't pour from an empty cup.

Abby the nurse

Abby has been a nurse for three and a half years after moving to Dunedin for university. For Abby her nursing career is a natural extension of her advocacy and community work. A pillar of Abby’s approach to nursing is staying curious, she says

“You'll never know everything. I think that's what makes it such a rewarding career, every day is interesting.”

How has your advocacy shaped your work as a nurse?

My advocacy and nursing work have kind of shaped each other. At the heart of both is the same thing: listening to people and making sure their voice isn't lost, particularly when they may not feel confident speaking for themselves. Both spaces have reinforced that change doesn't have to be loud or dramatic — sometimes it's just noticing when someone's voice isn't being heard, and making sure they get to be part of the conversation.

Do you have any favourite memories of what you have accomplished or observed as a nurse?

Some of my favourite memories come from looking after patients who are so unwell you genuinely don't know if they'll survive. When you get to see that person wake up and recover, that's incredibly rewarding — sometimes months later they'll come back to visit, looking like a completely different version of themselves. 

There's also the quiet everyday humanity of nursing; a hug after a tough shift, a colleague checking in, a close-knit team who've got your back.

If there was one message you could send to health policy makers what is it and why?

Prioritise safe staffing as a patient safety issue. I don't think anyone really goes into nursing expecting it to be easy, nurses need the time, support and resources to provide the standard of care patients deserve. When teams are constantly stretched, it affects everybody, patients, whānau and the nurses themselves. Definitely prioritising safe staffing as a patient safety issue.  but we need to make sure that nurses have the time and the support and resources to provide the standard of care that patients deserve. 

Abby the founder

The idea for Te Ara Tīrama began as an idea when Abby was still in high school. Driven by frustrations about only specific types of leadership being recognised, Abby was motivated to create opportunities for young leaders who aren’t always the obvious choice. When discussing her leadership journey she says “I didn't see myself as that kind of leader. But I cared deeply about the community and I wanted to contribute in ways that mattered.”

What events or experiences motivated you to found Te Ara Tīrama: Youth Impact Network?

I saw how many thoughtful, capable young people were being overlooked, with few opportunities beyond sport competitions to connect with others. Youth didn't really have a lot of places to kind of connect from a social impact point of view, access any support.

Leadership, I think, was often framed very much as individual, rather than something that we could sort of build collectively. If we wait until year 12 or 13 to tell rangatahi they have potential, we've probably left it too late. Through Te Ara Tīrama, we're trying to create pathways where rangatahi can connect, access support, and explore their ideas for change.

What are some key takeaways you learned about the process (ideation, co-design, delivery etc)

I definitely have learned that genuine co-design takes time, and you've got to be willing to give up a little bit of control because it's not about asking young people for their opinions and then just going away and doing what you originally intended to do anyway. It's about really bringing them into that process and doing it early and trusting the ideas and, and being prepared for them to challenge what you've put forward, that's always a lot easier said than done.